We were pleased to welcome our students back to Secondary last week and see them settle in quickly to learning.
For some students (and staff), this is their first year at Heathdale or their first year in Secondary. Big changes!
However, even for students who have been in the school for a long time, each new year requires adjustments to new teachers, new rooms and new classmates.
Not to mention that teenagers are going through stages of rapid change in themselves—socially, emotionally and physically. Friendship groups that fit just right last year might be morphing and changing after the summer. Young people often ask themselves, “Do I fit in here? How do others see me?”
When we see our children going through the struggle of finding their feet in a new situation, it can be hard to know how best to support them.
Teenagers sometimes express their feelings dramatically or in terms that seem very final: “I’m never going to…,” “They always…,” “Everyone is…,” and those big statements can make us as parents feel anxious about how dire the situation might be.
Some helpful approaches include:
1. Validating feelings. Acknowledge how it feels for them right now and that it’s okay to feel sad, anxious or disappointed. They need to know they’ve been heard and understood.
2. Focusing on the positives and familiarity. Reframing what is happening by highlighting some of the opportunities of change—such as a fresh start or trying something new—can help them start to see some positives in the situation. Also, point out what is familiar, including students and teachers they do know, who might ease some of the transition.
3. Encouraging problem-solving and independence. Help them identify what in the situation they can control and encourage them to make some plans for how they—not you—will tackle the situation. Talk about how you’ve positively handled change before and reassure them that you are confident in their ability to grow through this situation too.
4. Reaching out to their homeroom teacher or coordinator if you feel this is more than just a bad day. Partnering together to support and encourage a student is the best way home and school can work together. Communication is not so much about changing the circumstances or solving the problem for the student, but rather about keeping each other informed on how to support them at home and school as they work through to success.
5. Remember that things take time. I remember a number of favourite teachers I thought were dreadful the first week I had them as a student! Quick fixes are great when they happen, but like most relationships in life, good relationships at school take time and effort. Encourage your child to give it a go and see how it goes. Time just might be the ingredient they need to move from unsure to settled and thriving.
These strategies were modified from the helpful advice for families and carers on the Victorian Academy of Teaching and Leadership’s website. You may find other ideas there to encourage you as you help your child transition to their new classes.
Our teachers understand that teenagers take a while to adjust to new beginnings and that some of our students will find the first couple of weeks especially tough. We have spent time in our meetings over the last couple of weeks praying for the students in our classes as they return, and we are working hard to get to know each and every student so that they feel safe, valued and know that they belong.
I hope the new year has begun well for you and your family, and we look forward to a settled and successful year of learning and growing ahead.